Product features
Unethical Threads made the Please Don't Do Ketamine Off The Changing Station tee for the people who saw that sign in a real bathroom and thought "I need this on a shirt." Thick heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, available S through 4XL. The kind of shirt that proves every overly specific sign has a backstory.
Who actually wears this?
People with stories they only tell after the second drink.
If you've ever seen an extremely specific public restroom sign and thought "someone had a really bad Tuesday," this is your shirt. Nurses, bartenders, festival veterans, and anyone who's ever had to write a workplace policy because of one particular person. You know who you are.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper costume
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
Crew neck, because we do have some standards
DTG printed so the colors stay locked in wash after wash (unlike whatever happened in that restroom)
Is this a good gift?
It might be the best gift you ever give.
Everyone knows someone who would see the phrase "Please Don't Do Ketamine Off The Changing Station" and immediately lose it. Baby shower? Chaotic but legendary move. White elephant exchange? You win. Birthday for that friend who peaked at a music festival? Flawless choice. This is the rare gift that says "I know exactly who you are" without a card.
Frequently Asked Questions
What sizes does the Ketamine Changing Station shirt come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.
Is the print going to fade or crack?
No. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric. It holds up through regular washing without cracking or peeling.
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Yes. Heavyweight cotton, crew neck, relaxed fit. It's a real shirt, not a novelty costume you wear once.
Will this offend people?
Probably. That's kind of the point. If you're worried about offending someone, Unethical Threads might not be your brand.
How should I wash this?
Turn it inside out, wash cold, tumble dry low. The DTG print doesn't need any special treatment.
Who actually wears this?
People with stories they only tell after the second drink.
If you've ever seen an extremely specific public restroom sign and thought "someone had a really bad Tuesday," this is your shirt. Nurses, bartenders, festival veterans, and anyone who's ever had to write a workplace policy because of one particular person. You know who you are.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper costume
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL
Crew neck, because we do have some standards
DTG printed so the colors stay locked in wash after wash (unlike whatever happened in that restroom)
Is this a good gift?
It might be the best gift you ever give.
Everyone knows someone who would see the phrase "Please Don't Do Ketamine Off The Changing Station" and immediately lose it. Baby shower? Chaotic but legendary move. White elephant exchange? You win. Birthday for that friend who peaked at a music festival? Flawless choice. This is the rare gift that says "I know exactly who you are" without a card.
Frequently Asked Questions
What sizes does the Ketamine Changing Station shirt come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.
Is the print going to fade or crack?
No. It's DTG printed, which means the ink is embedded in the fabric. It holds up through regular washing without cracking or peeling.
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Yes. Heavyweight cotton, crew neck, relaxed fit. It's a real shirt, not a novelty costume you wear once.
Will this offend people?
Probably. That's kind of the point. If you're worried about offending someone, Unethical Threads might not be your brand.
How should I wash this?
Turn it inside out, wash cold, tumble dry low. The DTG print doesn't need any special treatment.
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