{"product_id":"bring-me-my-keys-tee","title":"Bring me my Keys Tee","description":"The Bring me my Keys Tee from Unethical Threads is for the friend who's already lost one shoe and is still patting their pockets at 1 AM. You know exactly who you are. We're not endorsing anything here, we're just printing what everyone's thinking.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003cbr\u003ePeople with poor judgment and great taste in shirts.\u003cbr\u003eThe kind of person who says \"I'm fine\" while knocking over a barstool. If you've ever been physically separated from your car keys by concerned friends, this tee was designed with you in mind. Or as a gift from those friends, which honestly might be the move.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can take a beating, much like your liver\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because bad decisions come in all sizes\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrew neck, classic cut, nothing complicated\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG printed so the graphic stays crisp long after the memories fade\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMachine washable, turn inside out, cold wash, you know the drill\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003cbr\u003eOne of the best.\u003cbr\u003eIf someone in your group chat always needs a ride home, this is their shirt. It's cheaper than bail money and gets the point across just as clearly. Birthday, holiday, intervention, whatever the occasion, it works.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003cbr\u003eDoes this shirt run true to size?\u003cbr\u003eYes. Unisex relaxed fit that runs true from S to 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003cbr\u003eWill the print fade after washing?\u003cbr\u003eNo. The DTG print holds up wash after wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to baby it.\u003cbr\u003eWill this offend someone?\u003cbr\u003eAlmost certainly. That's kind of the point.\u003cbr\u003eWhat's the shirt made of?\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight 100% cotton. Feels solid, not thin and flimsy.\u003cbr\u003eIs this a good gag gift?\u003cbr\u003eIt's one of the best gag gifts for the friend who's been cut off at the bar one too many times. They'll either love it or feel personally attacked. 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