{"product_id":"ill-serve-crack-before-i-serve-this-country-tee","title":"I'll Serve Crack Before I Serve This Country Tee","description":"The I'll Serve Crack Before I Serve This Country tee is for anyone who looked at the options and picked the one with better hours. An Unethical Threads original, printed on heavyweight cotton that feels as committed to comfort as you are to your life choices.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003cbr\u003eEveryone who laughed before they finished reading the shirt. Veterans who get the joke, civilians who wish they'd thought of it, and your friend who collects shirts that make HR nervous.\u003cbr\u003eThis one crosses every demographic in ways that would confuse a marketing team. It sells in red states and blue states equally. We stopped trying to figure that out a long time ago.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station tissue paper situation\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrew neck, because V-necks are a choice and we didn't make it\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG (direct-to-garment) print, so the colors stay put no matter how many times you wash it\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePre-shrunk, because nobody needs that kind of betrayal on laundry day\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003cbr\u003eIf you have to ask, it's not for the person you're thinking of right now. But the person who just popped into your head while you were reading the title? Yeah, get them one.\u003cbr\u003eThis is the shirt people open at the party and immediately put on over what they're already wearing. It pairs well with bad decisions and a complete lack of interest in career advice.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this shirt actually offensive?\u003cbr\u003eThat depends entirely on your audience. We think it's hilarious. Your recruiter might disagree.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?\u003cbr\u003eS through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so check the size chart if you're between sizes.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWill the print fade or crack?\u003cbr\u003eNo. DTG printing bonds the ink directly into the fabric. Wash inside out on cold if you want to baby it, but it holds up fine either way.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCan I return it if someone gets mad at me for wearing it?\u003cbr\u003eNo. We support your life choices, but that one's on you.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this a political shirt?\u003cbr\u003eIt's a funny shirt. 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