Product features
The Choke Me Like Bundy tee from Unethical Threads is for the kind of person whose true crime obsession doubles as a personality trait. Heavyweight cotton, unhinged energy, and the sort of joke that makes half the room laugh and the other half quietly Google your name.
Who actually wears this?
People who binged every serial killer documentary before it was trendy. The ones whose group chat would describe this shirt as "tasteful."
You'll get looks at the grocery store. Some of them might even be approving. Pair it with a straight face for maximum effect, or own it with the grin of someone who knows exactly what they're doing.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station souvenir
Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because dark humor comes in every size
Crew neck, classic cut
DTG printed so the design stays vivid long after your friends stop inviting you to brunch
Pre-shrunk, because at least something in your life should be predictable
Will this offend someone?
Yes. That's the whole thesis.
This isn't a shirt for people who run their outfit choices through a focus group. It's for people who've already accepted that their sense of humor is a character flaw they're not working on. If your coworkers already know what you're about, this just makes it official.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Yes. It's heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Soft, not stiff. You'll forget you're wearing something offensive.
What sizes does the Choke Me Like Bundy tee come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.
Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing locks the design in. Wash it normally and it holds up.
Is this appropriate to wear in public?
Technically, yes. Socially, that depends on your tolerance for strangers reading your chest and making eye contact.
Can I wear this to Thanksgiving dinner?
You can wear it anywhere. Whether you get invited back is a different question.
Who actually wears this?
People who binged every serial killer documentary before it was trendy. The ones whose group chat would describe this shirt as "tasteful."
You'll get looks at the grocery store. Some of them might even be approving. Pair it with a straight face for maximum effect, or own it with the grin of someone who knows exactly what they're doing.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a gas station souvenir
Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL, because dark humor comes in every size
Crew neck, classic cut
DTG printed so the design stays vivid long after your friends stop inviting you to brunch
Pre-shrunk, because at least something in your life should be predictable
Will this offend someone?
Yes. That's the whole thesis.
This isn't a shirt for people who run their outfit choices through a focus group. It's for people who've already accepted that their sense of humor is a character flaw they're not working on. If your coworkers already know what you're about, this just makes it official.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Yes. It's heavyweight cotton with a relaxed fit. Soft, not stiff. You'll forget you're wearing something offensive.
What sizes does the Choke Me Like Bundy tee come in?
S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit.
Will the print crack or fade?
No. DTG printing locks the design in. Wash it normally and it holds up.
Is this appropriate to wear in public?
Technically, yes. Socially, that depends on your tolerance for strangers reading your chest and making eye contact.
Can I wear this to Thanksgiving dinner?
You can wear it anywhere. Whether you get invited back is a different question.
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