{"product_id":"anal-bead-tug-of-war-champion-tee","title":"Anal Bead Tug Of War Champion Tee","description":"This is the Anal Bead Tug Of War Champion tee from Unethical Threads. It says exactly what you think it says. If you've ever wanted to announce a very specific, very niche championship victory to everyone at the grocery store, congratulations, here's your jersey.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003cbr\u003ePeople who peaked in recreational activities you won't find on ESPN. Your friend who says the worst possible thing at dinner and somehow gets the biggest laugh.\u003cbr\u003eLook, if you have to ask whether this shirt is for you, it probably isn't. But you're still reading, so let's not pretend.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton that feels like it costs more than your decisions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (champions come in all sizes)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCrew neck, because apparently you're classy like that\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG print locks color into the fabric, not on top of it. Stays vivid wash after wash.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePre-shrunk so it won't abandon you after one cycle\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this actually a good gift?\u003cbr\u003eOnly if you really know the person. This isn't a \"safe pick\" gift. This is an \"I've seen you at your worst and we're still friends\" gift.\u003cbr\u003eIf you're buying it for a coworker, you either have the best friendship in the building or you're about to get a meeting with HR. Either way, they won't forget it.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this shirt going to offend people?Some people, yes. The right people will think it's the funniest thing in the room. Know your audience.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWhat sizes does this come in?S through 4XL. Unisex relaxed fit, so it runs comfortable on everyone.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?No. DTG printing bonds ink directly into the fabric fibers. It holds up wash after wash.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCan I return it if someone gets upset?Check our return policy, but maybe just commit to the bit.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs the cotton actually soft?Heavyweight cotton with a soft hand feel. 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