Product features
The Life Lemon Chlamydia Tee from Unethical Threads takes the world's most overused motivational quote and gives it the reality check it deserves. Sure, make lemonade, but at least you didn't catch something worse. This is the shirt for people who process adversity through jokes, not journaling.
Who actually wears this?
People with a functioning sense of humor and a healthy disregard for polite company. The kind of person who texts "at least it's not chlamydia" when their friend gets dumped.
If your idea of a good time involves making someone spit out their drink at a bar, this is your uniform. It's also the shirt your group chat dares you to wear to Thanksgiving. You should. Grandma's heard worse.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like real clothing, not a disposable napkin from a health fair
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because poor life decisions come in every size
Crew neck, classic and reliable (unlike your last situationship)
DTG printed, so the colors stay vivid long after you've made questionable choices
Machine washable. Your shirt can survive what your reputation can't.
Is this actually a good gift?
It's the best gift. This is the present that makes someone laugh so hard they forget to open the rest of their stuff.
Perfect for birthdays, breakups, white elephants, or as a "glad your test came back negative" celebration. If you know someone who would read "When Life Gives You Lemons, Be Grateful It's Not Chlamydia" and immediately put it on, you already know you're buying this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt shrink?
It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it keeps its shape.
What does DTG print mean?
Direct-to-garment. The design is printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top like a sticker. It won't crack or peel.
Is this shirt unisex?
Yes. Relaxed fit that works on everyone, sizes S through 4XL.
Will this offend someone?
Almost certainly. That's the entire point. If you're worried about offending people, you might be on the wrong website.
How should I wash it?
Turn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.
Who actually wears this?
People with a functioning sense of humor and a healthy disregard for polite company. The kind of person who texts "at least it's not chlamydia" when their friend gets dumped.
If your idea of a good time involves making someone spit out their drink at a bar, this is your uniform. It's also the shirt your group chat dares you to wear to Thanksgiving. You should. Grandma's heard worse.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like real clothing, not a disposable napkin from a health fair
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL, because poor life decisions come in every size
Crew neck, classic and reliable (unlike your last situationship)
DTG printed, so the colors stay vivid long after you've made questionable choices
Machine washable. Your shirt can survive what your reputation can't.
Is this actually a good gift?
It's the best gift. This is the present that makes someone laugh so hard they forget to open the rest of their stuff.
Perfect for birthdays, breakups, white elephants, or as a "glad your test came back negative" celebration. If you know someone who would read "When Life Gives You Lemons, Be Grateful It's Not Chlamydia" and immediately put it on, you already know you're buying this.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt shrink?
It's pre-shrunk heavyweight cotton. Follow the care label and it keeps its shape.
What does DTG print mean?
Direct-to-garment. The design is printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top like a sticker. It won't crack or peel.
Is this shirt unisex?
Yes. Relaxed fit that works on everyone, sizes S through 4XL.
Will this offend someone?
Almost certainly. That's the entire point. If you're worried about offending people, you might be on the wrong website.
How should I wash it?
Turn it inside out, cold wash, tumble dry low. The print lasts longer that way.
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