Product features
The Everything I Love To Do Is Illegal tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone whose hobbies require a lawyer. It's the quiet confession printed on heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and available in S through 4XL because bad decisions come in every size.
Who actually wears this?
People who've said "it's not illegal if you don't get caught" at least once this week.
Your friend who always gets the side-eye at family dinners. The one at the party who's either the most fun or the most dangerous, depending on your personal risk tolerance. If you've ever had to clarify "I was joking" to a cop, this tee was made for you.
Heavyweight cotton. Not the see-through stuff. Actual fabric.
Unisex relaxed fit in S through 4XL, because crime doesn't discriminate by body type.
Crew neck. Low maintenance, like you claim to be.
DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, so the graphic stays sharp wash after wash.
Is this a good gift?
Yes, an excellent one.
It's the gift you get when a gift card feels lazy but you want the person to know you truly get them. Works for birthdays, white elephants, or any occasion where you want to win gift-giving. Fair warning: the recipient's mom might have opinions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. It's a relaxed unisex fit. If you're between sizes, go with your usual. Size chart is on the page.
Will the print crack or fade?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors hold up through the wash.
Is this appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work. Office job with HR? Probably not. Your buddy's tattoo shop? You'll fit right in.
Can I wear this through airport security?
Technically yes. Whether TSA finds it funny is a different question entirely.
Who actually wears this?
People who've said "it's not illegal if you don't get caught" at least once this week.
Your friend who always gets the side-eye at family dinners. The one at the party who's either the most fun or the most dangerous, depending on your personal risk tolerance. If you've ever had to clarify "I was joking" to a cop, this tee was made for you.
Heavyweight cotton. Not the see-through stuff. Actual fabric.
Unisex relaxed fit in S through 4XL, because crime doesn't discriminate by body type.
Crew neck. Low maintenance, like you claim to be.
DTG (direct-to-garment) printed, so the graphic stays sharp wash after wash.
Is this a good gift?
Yes, an excellent one.
It's the gift you get when a gift card feels lazy but you want the person to know you truly get them. Works for birthdays, white elephants, or any occasion where you want to win gift-giving. Fair warning: the recipient's mom might have opinions.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt run true to size?
Yes. It's a relaxed unisex fit. If you're between sizes, go with your usual. Size chart is on the page.
Will the print crack or fade?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not slapped on top. Colors hold up through the wash.
Is this appropriate for work?
That depends entirely on where you work. Office job with HR? Probably not. Your buddy's tattoo shop? You'll fit right in.
Can I wear this through airport security?
Technically yes. Whether TSA finds it funny is a different question entirely.
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