Product features
The Drunk Cigs Don't Count tee by Unethical Threads is for everyone who becomes a casual smoker after their third drink. You know who you are. Heavyweight cotton, DTG printed, and honestly a more accurate personality descriptor than your dating profile.
Who's buying this?
Anyone who's ever said "I only smoke when I drink" for the fifth weekend in a row.
Party smokers, social puffers, and people who keep a pack in their jacket "just in case." If you've ever bummed a cigarette from a stranger outside a bar at 1 AM, this shirt already belongs to you. It's not a lifestyle. It's a tradition.
Heavyweight cotton that can handle smoke breaks and spilled drinks
Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL (yes, your buddy who "quit" can wear it too)
Crew neck, because apparently that matters to some of you
DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the colors outlast your willpower
Pre-shrunk, so it still fits after your Sunday morning shame spiral
Is this a good gift for a smoker?
It's the perfect gift for the friend who "quit smoking" three months ago but somehow always has a lighter on them.
Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or just calling someone out. They'll laugh. They'll also probably step outside for a cigarette right after opening it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt shrink?
It's pre-shrunk. It'll fit the same after washing as it did when you impulse-bought it at 2 AM.
What sizes does the Drunk Cigs Don't Count tee come in?
S through 4XL. We don't gatekeep bad decisions by size.
Is the print going to crack or peel?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on from a flea market. It holds up.
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Heavyweight cotton, relaxed fit, crew neck. It feels like a real shirt, not a costume. You could sleep in it. You probably will.
Can I wear this around my parents?
You can. Whether you should is between you and your family's sense of humor.
Who's buying this?
Anyone who's ever said "I only smoke when I drink" for the fifth weekend in a row.
Party smokers, social puffers, and people who keep a pack in their jacket "just in case." If you've ever bummed a cigarette from a stranger outside a bar at 1 AM, this shirt already belongs to you. It's not a lifestyle. It's a tradition.
Heavyweight cotton that can handle smoke breaks and spilled drinks
Unisex relaxed fit, S-4XL (yes, your buddy who "quit" can wear it too)
Crew neck, because apparently that matters to some of you
DTG printed directly into the fabric, so the colors outlast your willpower
Pre-shrunk, so it still fits after your Sunday morning shame spiral
Is this a good gift for a smoker?
It's the perfect gift for the friend who "quit smoking" three months ago but somehow always has a lighter on them.
Works for birthdays, White Elephant, or just calling someone out. They'll laugh. They'll also probably step outside for a cigarette right after opening it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt shrink?
It's pre-shrunk. It'll fit the same after washing as it did when you impulse-bought it at 2 AM.
What sizes does the Drunk Cigs Don't Count tee come in?
S through 4XL. We don't gatekeep bad decisions by size.
Is the print going to crack or peel?
No. It's DTG printed directly into the fabric, not some iron-on from a flea market. It holds up.
Is this shirt actually comfortable?
Heavyweight cotton, relaxed fit, crew neck. It feels like a real shirt, not a costume. You could sleep in it. You probably will.
Can I wear this around my parents?
You can. Whether you should is between you and your family's sense of humor.
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