{"product_id":"breakfast-whiskey-cigarette-tee","title":"Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee","description":"The Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who's honest about what breakfast actually looks like. No orange juice. No yoga. Just the essentials. If your morning routine makes your doctor nervous, this shirt is your uniform.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWho actually wears this?\u003cbr\u003ePeople who skip the smoothie and go straight to the hard stuff. Your friend who lights up before they've even opened their eyes. Maybe you, and you're tired of pretending otherwise.\u003cbr\u003eThis tee isn't aspirational. It's confessional. It's the shirt you throw on when you've accepted that your breakfast of champions doesn't involve any actual champions. Just ashtray vibes and brown liquor.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHeavyweight cotton that can survive your questionable life choices\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eUnisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, even your buddy who \"used to play football\")\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eClassic crew neck, because we keep some things traditional\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDTG print (direct-to-garment) so the design holds its color no matter how many times you wash it\u003cbr\u003ePairs well with regret, black coffee, and 11 AM sunglasses\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIs this a good gift?\u003cbr\u003eIf you know someone whose breakfast is a Marlboro and a pour of Jameson, they don't want another candle. They want this.\u003cbr\u003eIt's the kind of gift that says \"I see you, and I'm not judging.\" Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or as a peace offering the morning after you dragged them out on a Tuesday.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eFrequently Asked Questions\u003cbr\u003eWhat sizes does the Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee come in?\u003cbr\u003eSizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.\u003cbr\u003eWill the print fade or crack after washing?\u003cbr\u003eNo. We use DTG (direct-to-garment) printing, which keeps the design vivid and flexible through every wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to be an overachiever.\u003cbr\u003eIs this shirt actually about drinking whiskey for breakfast?\u003cbr\u003eWe're not here to tell you how to live your life. That's between you and your liver.\u003cbr\u003eHow long does shipping take?\u003cbr\u003eMost orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. Your patience will be rewarded, or at least your mailbox will.\u003cbr\u003eCan I return it if it doesn't fit?\u003cbr\u003eYes. Check our return policy for details. But measure first, because we both know you'll forget if you have to do it later.\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Unethical Threads","offers":[{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ S","offer_id":60211569950801,"sku":"G5000-S","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ M","offer_id":60211570081873,"sku":"G5000-M","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ L","offer_id":60211570114641,"sku":"G5000-L","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ XL","offer_id":60211570147409,"sku":"G5000-XL","price":28.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ 2XL","offer_id":60211570180177,"sku":"G5000-2XL","price":34.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt Gildan 5000 \/ 3XL","offer_id":60211570212945,"sku":"G5000-3XL","price":38.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unisex T-shirt 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