Product features
The Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee from Unethical Threads is for anyone who's honest about what breakfast actually looks like. No orange juice. No yoga. Just the essentials. If your morning routine makes your doctor nervous, this shirt is your uniform.
Who actually wears this?
People who skip the smoothie and go straight to the hard stuff. Your friend who lights up before they've even opened their eyes. Maybe you, and you're tired of pretending otherwise.
This tee isn't aspirational. It's confessional. It's the shirt you throw on when you've accepted that your breakfast of champions doesn't involve any actual champions. Just ashtray vibes and brown liquor.
Heavyweight cotton that can survive your questionable life choices
Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, even your buddy who "used to play football")
Classic crew neck, because we keep some things traditional
DTG print (direct-to-garment) so the design holds its color no matter how many times you wash it
Pairs well with regret, black coffee, and 11 AM sunglasses
Is this a good gift?
If you know someone whose breakfast is a Marlboro and a pour of Jameson, they don't want another candle. They want this.
It's the kind of gift that says "I see you, and I'm not judging." Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or as a peace offering the morning after you dragged them out on a Tuesday.
Frequently Asked Questions
What sizes does the Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee come in?
Sizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.
Will the print fade or crack after washing?
No. We use DTG (direct-to-garment) printing, which keeps the design vivid and flexible through every wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to be an overachiever.
Is this shirt actually about drinking whiskey for breakfast?
We're not here to tell you how to live your life. That's between you and your liver.
How long does shipping take?
Most orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. Your patience will be rewarded, or at least your mailbox will.
Can I return it if it doesn't fit?
Yes. Check our return policy for details. But measure first, because we both know you'll forget if you have to do it later.
Who actually wears this?
People who skip the smoothie and go straight to the hard stuff. Your friend who lights up before they've even opened their eyes. Maybe you, and you're tired of pretending otherwise.
This tee isn't aspirational. It's confessional. It's the shirt you throw on when you've accepted that your breakfast of champions doesn't involve any actual champions. Just ashtray vibes and brown liquor.
Heavyweight cotton that can survive your questionable life choices
Unisex relaxed fit, sizes S through 4XL (yes, even your buddy who "used to play football")
Classic crew neck, because we keep some things traditional
DTG print (direct-to-garment) so the design holds its color no matter how many times you wash it
Pairs well with regret, black coffee, and 11 AM sunglasses
Is this a good gift?
If you know someone whose breakfast is a Marlboro and a pour of Jameson, they don't want another candle. They want this.
It's the kind of gift that says "I see you, and I'm not judging." Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or as a peace offering the morning after you dragged them out on a Tuesday.
Frequently Asked Questions
What sizes does the Breakfast Whiskey Cigarette Tee come in?
Sizes S through 4XL in a unisex relaxed fit. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.
Will the print fade or crack after washing?
No. We use DTG (direct-to-garment) printing, which keeps the design vivid and flexible through every wash. Turn it inside out and wash cold if you want to be an overachiever.
Is this shirt actually about drinking whiskey for breakfast?
We're not here to tell you how to live your life. That's between you and your liver.
How long does shipping take?
Most orders ship within 3 to 5 business days. Your patience will be rewarded, or at least your mailbox will.
Can I return it if it doesn't fit?
Yes. Check our return policy for details. But measure first, because we both know you'll forget if you have to do it later.
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