Product features
The They Call Me Ranch Cause I Be Dressing tee from Unethical Threads puts a sharp-dressed rat on your chest and a pun so dumb it circles back to genius. If you know, you know. If you don't, this shirt probably isn't for you.
Who's actually buying this?
People who peaked in humor around age 13 and never looked back. Your group chat's designated meme lord, the friend who makes the waiter uncomfortable, the one who gets told "you can't wear that" at family dinners.
This is for anyone who sees a rat in a suit and thinks "yeah, that's me." It's also for people who just really like ranch dressing, and honestly, we respect that too.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper hand-me-down
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL (the rat is inclusive)
Classic crew neck, because you're unhinged, not unfashionable
DTG print so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off like a cheap bumper sticker
Pre-shrunk fabric so your investment in absurdity doesn't get smaller over time
Does this work as a gift?
It's a perfect gift if you want someone to know you truly get them. Nothing says "I understand you as a person" like handing over a shirt with a well-dressed rat and a condiment pun.
Birthdays, White Elephant, "I saw this and thought of you" energy. If they don't laugh, you've learned something important about that friendship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt run true to size?Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.
Will the print crack or fade after washing?Nope. The DTG print holds its color. Wash inside out on cold and hang dry if you want to keep it looking fresh the longest.
Is this appropriate for work?That depends entirely on where you work. It's a rat in a suit with a condiment joke. Use your judgment.
What's the return policy?This is a print-on-demand item, so all sales are final. But look at this rat. You're not sending him back.
What material is this printed on?Heavyweight pre-shrunk cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough to survive your life choices.
Who's actually buying this?
People who peaked in humor around age 13 and never looked back. Your group chat's designated meme lord, the friend who makes the waiter uncomfortable, the one who gets told "you can't wear that" at family dinners.
This is for anyone who sees a rat in a suit and thinks "yeah, that's me." It's also for people who just really like ranch dressing, and honestly, we respect that too.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a tissue paper hand-me-down
Unisex relaxed fit in sizes S through 4XL (the rat is inclusive)
Classic crew neck, because you're unhinged, not unfashionable
DTG print so the colors stay locked in, not peeling off like a cheap bumper sticker
Pre-shrunk fabric so your investment in absurdity doesn't get smaller over time
Does this work as a gift?
It's a perfect gift if you want someone to know you truly get them. Nothing says "I understand you as a person" like handing over a shirt with a well-dressed rat and a condiment pun.
Birthdays, White Elephant, "I saw this and thought of you" energy. If they don't laugh, you've learned something important about that friendship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does this shirt run true to size?Yes. It's a unisex relaxed fit available in S through 4XL. Check the size chart if you're between sizes.
Will the print crack or fade after washing?Nope. The DTG print holds its color. Wash inside out on cold and hang dry if you want to keep it looking fresh the longest.
Is this appropriate for work?That depends entirely on where you work. It's a rat in a suit with a condiment joke. Use your judgment.
What's the return policy?This is a print-on-demand item, so all sales are final. But look at this rat. You're not sending him back.
What material is this printed on?Heavyweight pre-shrunk cotton with a crew neck. Comfortable enough for all day, sturdy enough to survive your life choices.
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