Product features
The Born To Shit Forced To Wipe T Shirt from Unethical Threads is a philosophical masterpiece for anyone who's made peace with the least glamorous part of being alive. It says what we're all thinking. You just never had the shirt for it.
Who actually wears this?
People with functioning digestive systems and a sense of humor about it. So, most of the population.
This shirt does well at barbecues, bachelor parties, and anywhere people have collectively decided that formality can go to hell. If you've ever texted someone a poop emoji unironically, you're the target audience. It's also weirdly popular with dads, which tracks.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a disposable napkin
Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for everyone and their questionable life choices
Classic crew neck (because v-necks are for people with something to prove)
DTG (direct-to-garment) print so the design stays vibrant even after your 50th wash
Pre-shrunk. We thought of everything except therapy
Is this a good gift?
One of our most gifted designs, honestly.
It works for birthdays, White Elephant exchanges, Father's Day (especially Father's Day), or those moments when you see something and one specific person immediately pops into your head. If the recipient laughs, you chose right. If they don't, the problem isn't the shirt.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Born To Shit Forced To Wipe shirt good quality?
Yes. Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing, so the design holds up through endless washes. This isn't some iron-on that peels after a month.
What sizes does this come in?
Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.
Will this shrink?
It's pre-shrunk, so minimal shrinkage if you follow the care label. Cold wash, tumble dry low.
Will this offend people?
Almost certainly. That's not a warning, that's a feature. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know this.
Who actually wears this?
People with functioning digestive systems and a sense of humor about it. So, most of the population.
This shirt does well at barbecues, bachelor parties, and anywhere people have collectively decided that formality can go to hell. If you've ever texted someone a poop emoji unironically, you're the target audience. It's also weirdly popular with dads, which tracks.
Heavyweight cotton that actually feels like a real shirt, not a disposable napkin
Unisex relaxed fit, S through 4XL. Room for everyone and their questionable life choices
Classic crew neck (because v-necks are for people with something to prove)
DTG (direct-to-garment) print so the design stays vibrant even after your 50th wash
Pre-shrunk. We thought of everything except therapy
Is this a good gift?
One of our most gifted designs, honestly.
It works for birthdays, White Elephant exchanges, Father's Day (especially Father's Day), or those moments when you see something and one specific person immediately pops into your head. If the recipient laughs, you chose right. If they don't, the problem isn't the shirt.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the Born To Shit Forced To Wipe shirt good quality?
Yes. Heavyweight cotton with DTG printing, so the design holds up through endless washes. This isn't some iron-on that peels after a month.
What sizes does this come in?
Unisex relaxed fit from S to 4XL. Check the size chart on this page if you're between sizes.
Will this shrink?
It's pre-shrunk, so minimal shrinkage if you follow the care label. Cold wash, tumble dry low.
Will this offend people?
Almost certainly. That's not a warning, that's a feature. If you're shopping at Unethical Threads, you already know this.
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